you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
