I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
