there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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