she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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