I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
