after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
