I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
