she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
