Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
