I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
