i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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