I wish i was in the wii world.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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