Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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