After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
