I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
