A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
