i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
