If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
