Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
it's like iHOP with fire
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
