ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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