My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
