Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize