Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
