just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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