All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
