it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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