it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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