I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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