There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
