the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Congratulations! We have a period
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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