I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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