I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
