She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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