How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
