we're blogging at a bar
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
