I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
