Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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