He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
