dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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