I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
