just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
