Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
