I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
