omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm just crazy horny about you
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
