Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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