Say something about gay babies.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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