No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
