I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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