I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
