i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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