There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
