Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
