There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
