I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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