There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
