I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize