it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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