U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
