she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
