i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
