dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
