We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
