He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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