please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Never underestimate the power of titties
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
