My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
