True but thats because hes a fetus.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
