that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
