I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
