so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
