The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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