Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize