My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
