Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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