who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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