I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
