I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
