Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
