sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
