I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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